| The way to keep this all in perspective is with a few general mental principles that I’ll share with you now:
– Never punish progress
– Progress over perfection
– Perfection is the enemy of good
Whereas all these sayings have some similarities, they also have distinct differences which is why it’s worth it to mention each one.
As parents, coaches, and caregivers, when our kids don’t meet our expectations, we tend to want to let them know that. We rationalize this as, “I want them to live up to their potential, so I tell them when they’re not doing so.” And to a certain extent is fair and necessary. At the same time, however, we want to be careful not to punish progress.
If a kid gets promoted to a higher level of play, and they only score one goal when you think they could have scored three, it’s tempting to lead with “If you had been more aggressive out there, you could have had three.”
This statement, without balanced praise and positivity, can be internalized as discouraging. The kid may think and hear, “Well I tried my best and it still wasn’t good enough so what’s the point in trying.”
The way to combat is this to always praise progress, never punish it, even if the progress isn’t coming as fast or far as you hoped. By praising progress, the process of progressing is reward and fuel for continued effort and growth- you don’t want to accidentally discourage that! |
