General
How to Know if a Relationship is Healthy
What’s the best way to test if a relationship is right for you? As a professional therapist, people come to me all the time with relationship ambivalence. They’re stressed and uncertain if the relationships they’re in is worth the effort. To help resolve this conflict, I offer the following question: “Is this relationship bringing out the…
Read MoreThe Perfectionism Trap and How to Escape It
As a professional figure skating instructor, Coach Mary Anne knows the pressure to be perfect is suffocating. And it’s often amplified by good intentions from coaches and parents whose words carry enormous weight. In her words, “If someone has told you that you’re “not good enough” or made you feel like your body is the problem rather than…
Read MoreMental Fitness Turns 9!
9 years ago today, I started Mental Fitness, LLC as an official business. It was just me renting a small, windowless office. Rent was due on day one, but insurance reimbursement wouldn’t come in until a few months later. That initial gap was scary, and unfortunately, the stats only served to confirm those fears. •…
Read MoreHow to Stop the Swirl
Thoughts swirling? Here’s how to break out of the storm… We’ve all been there. The late night hamster wheel that steals our sleep and ruins our peace of mind. It can be paralyzing. The thoughts become so loud in our heads that taking any action seems directionless or overwhelming. Here’s two steps to break free: 1. Keep…
Read MoreHaving Fun, Building Friendships
As parents and players, we get nervous when others outshine us. When someone hits puberty first and grows six inches in a year. When someone masters a new skill before anyone else on the team. When someone else makes the team, but we don’t. It’s easy to say the goal is simply to be better…
Read More5 Things Every Kid Should Learn
What if every student graduated from high school knowing how to do these 5 things? – Regulate their emotions – Challenge their own thinking – Handle failure and adversity – Build healthy relationships – Respond effectively to stress 1. Regulate their emotions Not eliminate uncomfortable emotions—but understand them, tolerate them, and respond effectively. 2. Challenge…
Read MoreThe Fundamentals
When we think of “fundamentals” we often think of youth sports, and yet, ask any professional athlete and they’ll tell you, “You never stop working on the fundamentals.” So many of us, kids and adults, want the glory without the work. We practice 3-point shoots rather than opposite-hand layups. We practice shoot out moves rather…
Read MoreAction > Confidence
Stop waiting until you feel confident! One of the biggest misconceptions about confidence is that we need to feel confident before we take action. We tell ourselves: “I’ll speak up when I’m more confident.” “I’ll try it when I feel ready.” “I’ll take the risk when I’m not so afraid.” Confidence doesn’t come before the…
Read MoreThe One Skill that Separates
As the father of an 8 and 5 year old, I’ve now watched hundreds of hours of youth sports. In my observations there is one main difference between the “elite” players and the rest of the field… It’s not necessarily the speed or the skill… It’s not necessarily the drive or practice hours… It’s not…
Read MoreTeam Building and Bonding
For many kids, being in competitive sports gives them their first true team experience in life. It teaches them how to trust others. They experience the joys of winning and the disappointment of losing. They learn how their actions affect more than just themselves but the team as a whole. Nevertheless, the tempting of today’s…
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