| Instead of telling a kid what to do, here’s a script to try instead:
First, ask a question to get buy-in…
For example, “Do you want to be captain of the team?” or “Do you want to be in the starting line up?”
They key here is to ask this question with genuine interest, not a condescending tone. Not everyone is meant to be captain of the team, and that’s okay. Role players and glue guys are vital positions as well.
Next, say this…
“The expectation as captain is…”
The expectation is that the captain is the hardest worker out there. The expectation is that the captain pays attention in line and competes hard in each and every drill. The expectation is that the captain cheers on his/her teammates.
This acts as a “call up,” not a “call out.”
Next, ask again…
“Do you think you can do that?”
The same rule applies here as with the first question- ask with genuine interest, not a condescending tone.
What makes this strategy great is that it elicits buy in, sets the expectations as objective (to the position) not subjective to the parent’s expectations, and then ends with the child affirming their own self-efficacy.
Want a final pro tip?
Be specific!
“Hustle more” is better said “Don’t weave on the backcheck. Go in a straight line.”
“Don’t stand around watching” is better said in an affirmative statement like “captains aren’t afraid to battle in the boards with their teammates.”
“Don’t be lazy out there” is better said “Captains are the first ones in line and always help clean up after practice.”
Want more tips like this????
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