Lessons From High School Football

It’s a beautiful fall evening in October 2002. I’m a freshman in high school and trying out for the wide receiver position on the North Allegheny football team.

I’m lined up for the play and the Coach is standing next to me. As I’m looking down the line waiting for the ball to be snapped, I noticed that one of our offensive lineman was lined up offsides. With the Coach right next to me, I pointed this out to his attention.

I assumed in this moment that I was doing a service to the team.  I assumed that the coach missed that the player was lined up offsides and that I was helping. My expectation was that the player who had lined up offsides would get reprimanded. However, to my surprise, I was the one who got reprimanded.

“Steve,” the coach said forcefully, “Why are you telling me about what’s happening on the offensive line?”

Though I was naïve enough to point out the infraction, I was smart enough to realize not to answer this question. So the coach went on…

“Any time you as the wide receiver are focused on what an offensive lineman is doing you are taking focus away from your task at hand. Your task is to run a perfectly executed five step slant. If you’re worried about what an offensive lineman is doing, then I can guarantee you’re not as focused as you should be on what you’re doing.”

For some reason, this lesson has always stuck with me, and I use it often in therapy.

As a therapist, I see many people so focused on what others are or are not doing that they lose focus on what they should be doing to improve their lives.

The moral of the story is this:

If you’re spending your time worrying about what others are doing, that means you’re not using your time for self-improvement.

The way to achieve your best in life is to focus on your lane, not others.